But.
But what has caused this to happen so frequently? But is there a way to fix it? But this isn't fair to my husband. But this isn't fair to my dear mother-in-law who has been watching my kids for 2 days! But I have little kids who I'd really like to raise into amazing God-fearing adults who give us oodles of grandbabies to spoil!
So, I'm on an increased dosage of my heart medication and we have an appointment with an electrophysiologist next Friday. Maybe he will have some answers. Maybe he won't.
For now I need to figure out how to focus on my priorities: My relationship with Christ and training my children why I love Him. And then that other stuff, try to make my body get stronger, so that I can have a smooth running household and I can be a cheerful wife and I can homeschool my kids.
At this point all prayers are greatly appreciated. I know that the Creator of the Universe is not surprised and can be glorified in all of this, but it sure feels easy to be discouraged.